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Due to Inflation This Is My Halloween Costume, Thanksgiving Shirt & Christmas Sweater — One Crewneck to Carry You Through All Three
The Continental dollar once fell so far that "not worth a Continental" became an insult you could throw at a man's hat. Two and a half centuries later, the currency has better graphic design and roughly the same relationship with your grocery bill. This crewneck is the thrifty patriot's rebuttal: buy one sweatshirt, retire three.
Franklin advised that "beware of little expenses; a small leak will sink a great ship." He meant candles and cheese, but the man clearly never priced an ugly Christmas sweater that gets worn once and exiled to the attic. Wear this from the first knock of trick-or-treaters, through the long Thanksgiving afternoon on the couch, and right up to Christmas morning, when someone asks if that's your costume, your shirt, or your sweater, and you get to answer yes.
It earns the closet space. Medium-heavy 8 oz fleece has real substance in the hand, the kind of weight that takes the edge off a cold porch without turning into a coat. The ribbed collar and cuffs hold their shape, the tubular knit body has no side seams to twist after washing, and the brushed interior stays soft against your arms while you're stuck on dish duty. It layers over a tee, under a jacket, and directly into a nap.
Perfect For
- The family comedian who needs a punchline that lasts an entire season
- Budget-minded patriots tired of paying three times for one stretch of calendar
- Ugly-sweater parties, Friendsgiving potlucks, and neighborhood trunk-or-treats
- Gag gifts, white elephant swaps, and Secret Santa picks with an actual point of view
- Anyone who reads a receipt lately and laughs to keep from crying
Premium Quality Features
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Medium-Heavy 8.0 oz Cotton-Poly Fleece: Substantial warmth for cold porches and drafty dining rooms, without the bulk of a jacket.
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Ribbed Collar & Cuffs: Snap back into shape season after season instead of stretching into a sad, floppy neckline.
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Tubular Knit, No Side Seams: A clean drape that won't twist sideways on you after a few trips through the wash.
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Double-Needle Stitching: Reinforced seams built to survive years of holidays, and the relatives who attend them.
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Crisp, Durable Print: Bold graphics that stay readable from across the table, wash after wash, so the joke keeps landing.
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OEKO-TEX® Certified Dyes, U.S. Cotton: Gildan 18000 blank with ethically sourced cotton, because the joke should be on inflation and nobody else.
Care Instructions
- Machine wash cold (max 30°C / 90°F), non-chlorine bleach only as needed.
- Tumble dry on low heat to protect the fleece and the print.
- Do not iron and do not dry clean.
More Funny Patriotic Apparel
Prefer this joke in short sleeves? Grab the matching Due to Inflation Holiday Tee. For more history with your humor, try the Keep Calm and Declare Independence Tee or the Less Government More Video Games Crewneck.
And since inflation hits the coffee aisle hardest, brew something the Founders would approve of: Jeffersonian Java for a bright light roast, Madisonian Morning to start the day with quiet resolve, or Franklin's Electric Elixir when the medium roast has to carry you through the in-laws.
100% Satisfaction Guarantee: We stand behind every stitch and every print. If your crewneck doesn't live up to the standard, tell us and we'll make it right. That's our promise to you.
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