{"product_id":"walton-johnson-hello-im-retarded-i-have-a-gun-long-sleeve-shirt","title":"Walton \u0026 Johnson: Hello, I'm Retarded \u0026 I Have A Gun Long Sleeve Shirt","description":"\u003cdiv style=\"background-color: #001f3f; border: 3px solid #d4af37; padding: 15px; margin-bottom: 20px; text-align: center;\"\u003e\u003cp style=\"color: #d4af37; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; margin: 0;\"\u003eSpecial Offer | Buy 2+ Items \u0026amp; Save 15% | Use Code: BUY2GET15\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003ch2 style=\"color: #165B33; font-size: 28px; margin-top: 0;\"\u003eHello, I'm Retarded \u0026amp; I Have a Gun Long Sleeve Shirt - Walton \u0026amp; Johnson's Iconic Comedy\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eFor decades, Walton \u0026amp; Johnson have pushed the boundaries of political incorrectness with fearless humor that makes everyone else look like cowards. Among their legendary bits, few lines have achieved the cult status of 'Hello, I'm Retarded \u0026amp; I Have a Gun'—a brilliantly absurd commentary on the intersection of incompetence and authority that perfectly captures the state of modern America. This premium long sleeve shirt immortalizes that iconic line with bold graphics that announce to everyone: you appreciate humor that doesn't apologize, you understand satire that cuts deep, and you believe the best apparel celebrates comedy that triggers absolutely everyone who lacks a sense of humor.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis isn't just a shirt—it's a daily declaration that in a world where idiots are armed with power, the only appropriate response is laughter. Whether you're a longtime Walton \u0026amp; Johnson listener who remembers when this bit first aired, a fan of politically incorrect comedy that refuses to bow to the perpetually offended, or simply someone who believes the funniest jokes are the ones that make people uncomfortable, this long sleeve shirt makes your position crystal clear: you stand with fearless humor, you reject censorship, and you're not afraid to wear a shirt that says what everyone's thinking but afraid to say—all while staying warm during cooler weather.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAs Patrick Henry might have declared if he were alive today: 'Give me liberty to laugh at absurdity, or give me boring politically correct comedy!' This shirt honors that spirit—one wear at a time.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"background-color: #E8F4F8; border-left: 4px solid #165B33; padding: 15px; margin: 20px 0;\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 style=\"color: #165B33; margin-top: 0;\"\u003ePerfect For:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul style=\"margin: 10px 0;\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWalton \u0026amp; Johnson fans who appreciate the show's most legendary politically incorrect bits\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eCooler weather wear that combines comfort with fearless humor\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eEveryday wear, outdoor activities, or any time you want to identify fellow free speech advocates\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGift-giving for friends who appreciate comedy that doesn't apologize\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAnyone who believes the best long sleeve shirts celebrate satire that makes people uncomfortable\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\u003chr style=\"border: 0; height: 1px; background: #ddd; margin: 30px 0;\"\u003e\u003ch2 style=\"color: #165B33;\"\u003ePremium Quality Features\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBold Iconic Graphics:\u003c\/strong\u003e Eye-catching design featuring Walton \u0026amp; Johnson's legendary line—guaranteed to earn laughs from those with a sense of humor and outrage from everyone else\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e100% Premium Cotton:\u003c\/strong\u003e Soft, breathable fabric for all-day comfort in cooler weather\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eLong Sleeve Design:\u003c\/strong\u003e Extra coverage and warmth while maintaining the bold message\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eClassic Unisex Fit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Comfortable cut that works for everyone who appreciates fearless comedy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDurable Construction:\u003c\/strong\u003e Reinforced stitching that withstands countless washes and years of wear\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003ePreshrunk Fabric:\u003c\/strong\u003e Maintains size and shape wash after wash, keeping the legendary message intact\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch3 style=\"color: #165B33;\"\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold with like colors to preserve graphics and fabric quality\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eTumble dry low or hang dry for longest life\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDo not iron directly on design—this legendary message deserves respect\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003chr style=\"border: 0; height: 1px; background: #ddd; margin: 30px 0;\"\u003e\u003ch2 style=\"color: #165B33;\"\u003eMore Politically Incorrect Humor \u0026amp; Walton \u0026amp; Johnson Gear\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eBuild your politically incorrect collection with our complete Walton \u0026amp; Johnson lineup. Pair this Hello, I'm Retarded \u0026amp; I Have A Gun Long Sleeve Shirt with the \u003ca href=\"\/products\/walton-johnson-hello-im-retarded-i-have-a-gun-t-shirt\" style=\"color: #165B33; font-weight: bold;\"\u003eHello, I'm Retarded \u0026amp; I Have A Gun T-Shirt\u003c\/a\u003e for warmer weather, or add the \u003ca href=\"\/products\/walton-johnson-hello-im-retarded-i-have-a-gun-hat\" style=\"color: #165B33; font-weight: bold;\"\u003eHello, I'm Retarded \u0026amp; I Have A Gun Hat\u003c\/a\u003e to complete your outfit.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eComplete your Walton \u0026amp; Johnson collection with the \u003ca href=\"\/products\/walton-johnson-hello-im-retarded-i-have-a-gun-mug\" style=\"color: #165B33; font-weight: bold;\"\u003eHello, I'm Retarded \u0026amp; I Have A Gun Mug\u003c\/a\u003e, the \u003ca href=\"\/products\/liberal-tears-mug\" style=\"color: #165B33; font-weight: bold;\"\u003eLiberal Tears Mug\u003c\/a\u003e, or the \u003ca href=\"\/products\/walton-johnson-radio-gawds-3d-logo-hat\" style=\"color: #165B33; font-weight: bold;\"\u003eRadio Gawds 3D Logo Hat\u003c\/a\u003e. Every piece celebrates American values, free speech, and the legendary courage that makes Walton \u0026amp; Johnson national treasures. Remember: Use code \u003cstrong\u003eBUY2GET15\u003c\/strong\u003e to save 15% when you buy any 2+ items!\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"background-color: #165B33; color: white; padding: 20px; text-align: center; margin: 20px 0; border-radius: 5px;\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 style=\"margin-top: 0; color: white;\"\u003e100% Satisfaction Guarantee\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp style=\"margin-bottom: 0;\"\u003eWe stand behind every product with our ironclad quality promise. If you're not completely satisfied, we'll make it right—because that's what liberty-loving businesses do.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"background-color: #f5f5f5; padding: 15px; text-align: center; margin-top: 20px; border-top: 2px solid #165B33;\"\u003e\u003cp style=\"margin: 0; color: #333;\"\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e✓ Fast Shipping | ✓ Secure Checkout | ✓ 100% Satisfaction Guarantee | ✓ Made for Patriots\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":47081709437148,"sku":"29247746732571407235","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Irish Green \/ S","offer_id":47081709469916,"sku":"33278791547125427751","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Purple \/ S","offer_id":47081709502684,"sku":"31099997479945252044","price":32.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Forest Green \/ 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